PRESCRIPTION MEDICATION SYMPTOMS

TAKE TWO ASPIRIN AND CALL ME IN THE MORNING. THAT WAS THE STANDARD PRESCRIPTION WHEN YOU CALLED THE DOCTOR TO COMPLAIN ABOUT WHATEVER SYMPTOMS YOU WERE EXPERIENCING. WE OF COURSE PROGRESSED FROM THAT POINT TO AN ERA WHERE THERE IS A PILL FOR JUST ABOUT ANYTHING. EVEN A PILL FOR ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION (VIAGRA) WHICH SOME OF US MAY OR MAY NOT NEED, I FOR ONE DO NOT NEED IT, BUT SOMETIMES I WONDER WHAT THE ADDED EXPERIENCE WOULD BE IF I DID TRY IT. HOWEVER, MY OTHER HALF HAS DISCOURAGED ME FROM ATTEMPTING THAT EXPERIMENT THREATENING TO HAVE A CONTINUOUS HEADACHE FOR THE YEAR 2010. ANYHOW, THERE ARE CONSTANT ADVERTISEMENTS ON TELEVISION AND IN MAGAZINES ABOUT ALL OF THE NEW AVAILABLE PRODUCTS CLAIMING TO HELP YOU WITH WHATEVER AILMENT YOU SUFFER FROM. THE PROBLEM HERE IS THAT WHEN YOU TAKE THAT ONE PILL, YOU THEN ENCOUNTER A SERIES OF OTHER MEDICAL PROBLEMS FROM TAKING THAT PILL. I WATCHED AN AD ON TELEVISION LAST NIGHT WHICH STATED THAT TAKING THE PILL ADVERTISED WOULD HELP YOU MAKE IT THROUGH EACH DAY PAIN FREE. GREAT! BUT WAIT! IF I TAKE THAT ONE PILL WHAT ARE THE SIDE EFFECTS? HMMMM. DRY TONGUE, SWELLING OF THE ESOPHAGUS, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, NUMBNESS IN THE LEGS, BLURRY VISION, CONFUSION AND DIZZINESS. EIGHT! EIGHT NEW CONDITIONS I'D DEVELOP FROM TAKING ONE PILL FOR MY ORIGINAL SYMPTOM. GEEZ, I'D HAVE TO TAKE MORE PILLS TO CURE THE SYMPTOMS FROM THE FIRST PILL. THINK I'D BE BETTER OFF NOT TAKING THE FIRST PILL AND SUFFERING WITH JUST THE ONE SYMPTOM I ORIGINALLY STARTED WITH.
I DID NOTICE HOWEVER, THAT TAKING VIAGRA DID NOT HAVE AS MANY FRIGHTENING SYMPTOMS AS ALL OF THE OTHERS. THE ONLY WARNING WAS THAT IF YOU EXPERIENCE AN ERECTION LASTING MORE THAN FOUR HOURS, CONSULT YOUR PHYSICIAN. YEAH RIGHT! IF I SO MUCH HAVE AN ERECTION LASTING MORE THAN FOUR HOURS I'M "NOT" CALLING MY PHYSICIAN. I'M CALLING THE CHEMISTS WHO DEVELOPED IT AND CONGRATULATING THEM FOR MY NEW TOY. AT THE SAME TIME MY OTHER HALF WILL BE FILING FOR A DIVORCE. SEE, ANOTHER SIDE EFFECT.

WHERE DO OVERDRAFT FEE CHARGES GO?

DID YOU EVER OVER DRAW YOUR CHECKING ACCOUNT? MOST LIKELY AT SOME POINT IN YOUR LIFE YOU HAVE. SO THEN THE BANK CHARGES YOU AN OVERDRAFT FEE, USUALLY IN THE AREA OF $25 TO $30. NOW WHAT THE HECK COSTS THE BANK $25 OR $30 WHEN YOU OVERDRAFT? THIS FALLS INTO THE "I DON'T GET IT CATEGORY." OKAY, LETS SEE IF WE CAN FIGURE THIS OUT. THE RED FLAG GOES UP ON YOUR CHECKING ACCOUNT THAT YOU HAVE JUST OVERDRAWN YOUR ACCOUNT BY 10 CENTS WHEN YOU WENT TO BUY A CUP OF COFFEE AND A DONUT USING YOUR DEBIT CARD. OF COURSE IT DID NOT RED FLAG WHEN YOU BOUGHT THAT COFFEE AND DONUT AT THE REGISTER, UNLESS YOU HAD SOME SORT OF OVER DRAW PROTECTION ARRANGEMENT WITH YOUR BANK. SO LET'S SAY THAT YOU DIDN'T. THE BANK THEN GETS A RED FLAG THAT YOU (HORRORS) OVERDREW YOUR ACCOUNT AND ARE NOW MINUS 20 CENTS IN YOUR ACCOUNT. BANK OFFICIALS BEGIN TO SPREAD THE WORD WHEN THE ALARM GOES OFF. "WE HAVE A SITUATION HERE SIR. THIS ACCOUNT IS OVERDRAWN BY 20 CENTS." "OKAY BEANBLOSSIM, GOOD WORK, TACK ON THE $30 OVERDRAFT FEE IMMEDIATELY." OKAY, SO LET'S BREAK DOWN THE COST OF THE OVERDRAFT FEE. THE BANK MANAGER GETS $5 FOR BEING CALLED AWAY FROM HIS DESK, BEANBLOSSIM, THE CLERK, GETS $1 FOR ALERTING THE BANK MANAGER AND ANOTHER $2 FOR HAVING TO TAKE THE TIME TO KEY IN THE OVERDRAFT INTO THE BANK'S COMPUTERS. BECAUSE BOTH THE CLERK AND THE BANK MANAGER WERE TAKEN AWAY FROM THEIR FORECLOSURE DUTIES, ANOTHER $4 WAS ADDED ON TO THE CHARGES. ADD IN THE COST OF THE ELECTRICITY USED IN POWERING THOSE BANK COMPUTERS AND YOU HAVE ANOTHER $8. FINALLY, THE PROFIT MARGIN THAT THE BANK NEEDS TO MAKE IN ANY GIVEN DAY FOR THEIR SHAREHOLDERS, WHICH, IS THE MOST IMPORTANT REASON FOR OVERDRAFT CHARGES, AND THAT COMES TO $10. OUR GRAND TOTAL FOR YOUR COFFEE AND DONUT OVERDRAFT, $30.
OF COURSE I JUST MADE THESE CHARGES UP, BUT I COULD BE RIGHT ON THE MARK HERE. CONSIDERING THAT MY BANK, WHICH CHARGES THE SAME OVERDRAFT FEES, HAS FREE COFFEE AND COOKIES DISPLAYED IN THEIR LOBBY EVERY TIME I GO THERE, (LOLLIPOPS TOO) I HAVE DECIDED THAT RATHER THAN TAKE THE CHANCE THAT I MIGHT INCUR AN OVERDRAFT FEE, I MIGHT BE BETTER OFF JUST DRIVING THE SIX MILES TO THE BANK AND GET MY COFFEE AND COOKIES THERE. WHO PAYS FOR THOSE FREE COFFEE AND COOKIES ANYHOW? OOPS, MUST BE COMING OUT OF THOSE OVERDRAFT FEES. TIME TO RECALCULATE MY FIGURES.

The, "I Don't Get It Dept."

There are a lot of things I just don't get. Maybe it's because I'm getting older and my attention span is about one gazillionth of a second. Like, take out the garbage dear, which I never hear my wife utter, along with feed the cats, don't forget to put the toilet seat down, and isn't this a pretty dress while we're shopping at Wal Mart. But some things, which I confess I have no control over, do sink in. Take for instance a comment by Senator Orrin Hatch, R-Utah just this past week. Hatch was apparently upset over the possibility of big government health care expansions and how it will add to the ever growing federal deficit. He was asked by a reporter from the Associated Press the difference between six years ago during the Bush administration when they approved a major Medicare expansion that added tens of billions of dollars to the federal deficit compared to the proposed cost of the proposed Obama health care plan now before Congress. His comment: Six years ago, "It was standard practice not to pay for things. We were concerned about it, because it certainly added to the deficit, no question." Essentially he is saying that was then, this is now. (Charles Babington AP)

So let me see, with my limited attention span, if I understand this correctly. It was okay six years ago to spend all kinds of money and add to the federal deficit, but now it's not okay to spend all kinds of money and add to the federal deficit. I think I'm missing something here.

Maybe if I look at this with regard to my own finances I'll understand it better. If I owed $500 bucks on my credit card, didn't pay it last month, charged another $500 bucks this month, and still didn't pay it, and continued to do that month after month until I die, it's okay, because my wife will pay for it in the end because that was then and this is now? Hmmmm, I kinda like that concept. Thanks Senator Hatch.

PREMIER BLOG OF MISFITWISDOM

It's come to my attention that way too much is coming to my attention. Perhaps that is due to the fact that I tend to pay too much attention to things most normal people would ignore. It may also be due to the fact that I'm getting much older and have way too much time on my hands. Living with my "soul mate," (sorry Gov. Sanford) and five cats, who basically tend to ignore my daily opinions, I felt it necessary to create this blog to inflict as much pain, and possibly boredom, to anyone who choses to log onto my blog. My subject matter will cover just about anything, foremost, events and subjects that tend to fire me up. Feel free to comment either in a positive or negative manner. It's a free world...at least that's what we're led to beleive.

In this first post, I'll introduce myself. I spent 30 years as a disc jockey in the New England market, 5 years as a sales rep. for some record distribution companies, another 5 years driving a taxi cab and finally 8 years as a chauffeur for a Connecticut casino until I retired in 2007. I have written my autobiograpy entitled, "I Could Have Been Famous But Sex,Love and Life Got In The Way" available at Amazon.com books. I tend to have an opinion on just about everything but prefer to comment on newsworthy items in which I tend to find a humorous side. I also would welcome suggestions from anyone on topics to comment on.

Before I post a blog on any subject, I will research the facts, and then post it with my opinions and humorous observations.

My first blog will be posted tomorrow, 12/29/09 with a look at a headline printed in this week's newspapers entitled, "Democrats See GOP Hypocrisy In Health Care Debate." I know, I know, it's politics but there is some humor in this comment, and my pledge to any of you reading this is that while I will comment on politics along with many other subjects, it will all be written with a humorous objective. The news is serious enough without me adding to it.

Thanks for reading this blog and I hope you return tomorrow.

Misfit