Mish Mosh Monday

There were all kinds of things greeting me on the news this morning. Fortunately none of them were about the White House Intruders, Paris Hilton, Tori Spelling and Tiger Woods. That was the good news. The bad news is that the news media felt it necessary to blow our morning minds with the story about Harry Reid because he made a comment during the 2008 presidential race regarding President Obama. This of course should be placed in the "I don't give a rat's behind" category when it comes to news. It's simply tit for tat between the Democrats and Republicans. There's a lot more things they should be concerned with other than who said what two years ago. Not only that, but Reid apologized to the President and the President accepted his apology. Ok, so now what. I got it! Let's lynch him up to a tree and draw and quarter him. Of course all this came to light with the release of a new book about politics, specifically the 2008 election. You don't think this will boost the author's book sales do ya? While we're at it lets do the same to everyone else who ever had a slip of the tongue, um, including Linda Lovelace. (sorry, just couldn't help myself there)

Then there's the guy in Switzerland who was slapped with a $290.000 ticket for speeding. Ok, I get it. The guy is a millionaire driving a Ferrari and the authorities wanted to make an example of him. Now this is all taking place in Europe where other countries as well are similarly handing out hefty fines to speeding drivers. What I'm worried about is the United States, with a gazillion million dollars in debt thinking of doing the same thing. The only thing that's going to save our behinds is that the fines are based on a person's wealth. Phew, I'm safe there. If they base it on my wealth my fine should amount to $4.50. Excuse me here while I take my truck out on the road and see if it actually will do 120mph on the Interstate.

A friend of mine sent us a comedy clip of a YouTube video taped from a British television show. It was really funny due to the fact that it involved using words banned from American television. You know, the "F" word and the basic subject matter. I don't think hearing the "F" word on American television would actually warp my mind or make me go blind if I actually heard anyone say it on Leno or Letterman. But it makes me wonder why we Americans are so frightened of hearing anyone say those words on television. Aren't we supposed to be the most advanced country in the world? Apparently not when the British can interject those forbidden words into their TV programs and we cannot. Try watching Lewis Black or clips of George Carlin on TV with the censors clipping every offensive word out of their routines. It's just not as funny as, "That %$!#@ no good $#@!&$ ran off with my wife." Or when you hit your thumb with a hammer. Would you scream out, "Oh my goodness, that sure does hurt!" Or would you yell out, "Son-of-a-!#@!! that F*****G
hurts." (pausing while I hit my thumb with a hammer) "!*^%$#@$&##!!

Finally, some people are up in arms about the government installing new body scan devices at all of our major airports to thwart, (I like that word, thwart) anyhow, to thwart terrorist's from smuggling bombs or whatever on board an airliner. They claim it's an invasion of privacy and that the body scans could be showing too much, like sensitive body parts. I don't get it. From what I've observed the body scan devices show an image which closely resembles an x-ray and the outline of one's body. So what's the big deal? Ok, so you can see the outline of a woman's body, yeah, and a Male's body as well. Will someone please explain to me how this is an invasion of privacy. Their looking for BOMBS and KNIVES and any suspicious people! So ok, they can see the shape of your body parts. Personally, it's not going to give me a rush to see those images. Trust me here, if Playboy magazine starts to show naked women in their centerfolds using a body scan device, I'm cancelling my subscription. Then again, this could be a new publishing enterprise for yet another men's magazine, "Sensual Body Scan Magazine." Hmmmm, time to call my publisher.